Anger

Silence
Tight chest
Lump in throat
Nausea
Tears
Voices music won't drown
Fire
Dragon
Pain
Embarrassment
Chain smoking
Isolation
Self infliction
New piercing or tattoo
Self medicate
Fear
Exhaustion
Don't try
I don't want to know

Sunday's

I hate Sunday's!
Sunday's take him away from me.
It is the day that makes me a single woman with a band.
It is the day I watch my man pack and roll his bags out the door.
It is the day I watch him say goodbye to everyone saving me for last.
It is the day he says goodbye to me, I do not cry.

Life Today

Up
Down
Anxiety
Irritability
Anger
Pain
Shakiness
Rapid cycler
Exhaustion
Isolation
Stiffness
Sleep
No sleep
Roller coaster
Money
Sex
Space
Sad
Tears
Talk too fast
Stutter
Confusion
Eat too much
Eat too little
Foggy
Smoke too much
Enjoy my friend Mary
Too many words
Music to calm
My life with bipolar and fibro

Morning Person

I used to think I wasn't a morning person
But maybe it's a morning person without people.
I have a routine.
Wake up after 5 to 6 hours of sleep.
Grab, robe, meds, phone, headphones, essential.
Downstairs for coffee.
Then head outside. No matter what the weather.
My screened in porch is the best as my designed it and built it himself with very little help from anybody.
I drink coffee.
I listen to music.
I read.
Play with animals.
Watch sun come up.
Watch birds and squirrels.
Watch the limbs of my new Willow Tree.

Im not sure what kind of morning person that makes me.

Big Dude

He's my protector
He scans the yard like any guard could do
After dark he patrols the fence
He voices his opinion to the coyote across the rail
He sleeps by the door keeping watch over the house
He's as big as any man
Weighing in at 170 pounds
The sun is coming up
His shift is over
He can enjoy himself
He can chase the squirrels, which he'll never catch
Get lots of love and pets
Get secret treats from Mom when she gets her coffee
For a job well done

I Drove Right By

I was in your town tonight
I drove down your street
But I drove right by

I used to call you when I was this close
Just to make sure you were home
So I could stop for a soda and good conversation
But I drove right by

I'm not sure what happened but
There is no longer conversation
Only silence
I miss what we had
Long conversations, secrets, lunches, late nights, laughing until we cried, family dinners, sharing our lives together
Now, I hear about your life through others eyes
Because I don't know what happened
Was it just life, time, situational, growing families, or me?
So, I drove right by.........

Unconditional Love

As I look down at my lap I see the most precious 8 pound lump. She goes with me everywhere. My own personal shadow. My security blanket. We call her the baby even though she is the oldest in the house at 8. Her birthday was in February. She's no longer climbing stairs and has to be picked up to go upstairs when I go to my room or when it is time for bed. Her favorite place, of course, is wherever I'm at and especially my lap. She earned top puppy after Lily passed. She immediately stepped into her place the best she could. I try not to have a favorite but it is so hard to do when they just wiggle themselves into your heart . So much unconditional love.