I HATE migraines!  I've had one now for 2 days and all I've done is sleep.  I've completely wasted the last 2 beautiful days by staying in bed and sleeping them away. 
I've gotten up here and there and tried to function but then my head starts pounding again and it takes all the effort I have to just crawl back to my room and get back under the covers and sleep some more. 
I've every drug in my house that I can take, caffeine, warm showers, the house is cold and dark and it totally quiet.
This to shall pass.  So, anyone that thinks I was ignoring them.  I'm sorry. 
Just couldn't function in life.

Loved and Lost

You know what really bothers me is all the friends that have come and go in my life.  I have loved and lost in my life many friends and I know there has to be a purpose but I sure wish it didn't have to hurt so much.  I've always been told nothing gets thrown at me that I can't handle but there are sure things I don't want to handle.  I don't want to deal with the loss of yet another friend.  It feels like a death.  She has been in my life for 35 yrs and now she is gone.  I've done what I can do to try and keep our relationship going and I just don't know what else I can do but let her go.  I hope she will always know that I am here for her no matter what.  All she has to do is say my name.
But tonight that is not all.  I have a couple of other friends that I'm excited about seeing.  I don't know if it will happen or not but it is exciting knowing I might see them after all of these years.  We used to be best friends so many years ago and we've all grown older, gained a little weight and grown some grey hair but our personalities are the same and we talk just as if we saw each other yesterday.  Hopefully, I will get to meet up with them this weekend.  It would make for a nice surprise for the weekend.

Take some of my cards back

When I look at the past and I talk to some friends from the past it makes me wonder what would have happened if things would have just been a little bit different.  Not that I'm dwelling in the past but haven't you ever just wondered. 
Would I have married, would I have had 2 children or none or more?  What type of occupation would I have been in?  Would I still have stayed in Kansas?  Would I still be the same type of person that I am now?
Would I be alive today?  Or would I have never seen that Angel in my hallway that night. 
Yeah, I saw him.  No, he didn't have wings.  But he was real and he was there.  If he wasn't I wouldn't be here today.  I hadn't seen him before and I haven't seen him since.  But he was looking after me that night.  It seems like so long ago now. 
Thinking back though, if I had made different decisions before all that maybe it never would have happened in the first place.  Or was it destined.  Is there such a thing as destiny?
Is everything supposed to happen for a reason?  Is your life all planned out as soon as you're born?  I don't know anymore.  Because if it is  some of things I was dealt the dealer can take back my cards, because I don't want them. 

Melancholy Day

I'm pretty melancholy today.  Having a difficult time getting motivated.  My head is pretty fuzzy.  I feel like I just go back to bed and sleep the entire day away.  I'm trying not to do that though.  I don't want to start that pattern, of sleeping all day and then being awake all night.  I do it to much already.  I already stay up a good portion of the night but I am able to get up in the morning at a decent time, so it works. 
I hate this time of year.  I should say I have a love/hate relationship with this time of year.  Since, about July I have been on a Manic Spree and it has been awesome.  I've been on this natural high that is just wonderful but eventually I have to come down, and I will.  It won't be pretty when I do.  It never is.  I'm hoping for better results this year.  That is all I can do.  Somewhere between now and Christmas I will come down. 
I'm keeping my fingers crossed this year and thinking about ahead of time.  I'm not going to let it creep up on me.  I'm going to take precautions.
I'm going to put up my Christmas tree this month so in December when I hate the thought because I hate Christmas it will already be done.  I'm starting my Christmas shopping now so it will be done for the same reason.  I want to do Christmas cards this year so I'm doing them the beginning of November so that they will get done.  So, please send your addresses if you would like a card.  That just leaves cookies to bake and the hubby should be home in time to help bake Christmas cookies.  He can drag my ASS out of bed in December to do that.  Because in December that is where I will be.  I'll be in bed with my Grinch pants on all curled up hibernating for the winter.  Ignoring the world.